Rested

Its Monday. Do you feel rested?

Many of us start the week exhausted rather than refreshed as we spend most of our weekend running around doing all of the things that we weren’t able to do in the week before. It’s a time for laundry and cleaning house, combing kids’ hair and sneaking an hour or two of me time. It is a cycle that repeats itself and looks like the best way to live but we always get to Monday overwhelmed and exhausted.

Over the years as I have sought to have God direct every area of my life, I even surrender how my days are ordered and allow Him to set my agenda. This may be hard for some people to do as they work for other people but you can still allow God to guide your ways so that you are productive on the job and still able to meet the needs of your family and your other obligations. Learning to give God the best parts of my days have been a blessing. If it meant starting out Monday morning on my knees or feeding myself with His word, then that is what I did.  I stopped allowing the few tired seconds before I fall asleep to be the only time I talk to God but rather talk to Him all day about what ever I am doing and no matter where I am.

A time or two that has meant someone asking if I’m crazy because I am speaking in tongues under my breath as I wash the dishes or other things but I don’t mind. I need to connect with my Lord. He is always present, always wanting to hear from me. There are times when He is silent and He wants me to be silent too and just enjoy being with Him. I have learned that is just as precious to me.

This week, seek ways to be in God’s presence. To allow Him final authority over your agenda. You will be amazed how your attitude changes and the level of energy you will have by the next time Monday comes around.

Be blessed.

A Perfect God

I woke up this morning with my spirit light and praise on my lips. As I took a moment to reflect on my God and His love for me. The antics of my children the evening before made me laugh and also relieved as they recounted their memories of several incidents that they we have not spoken about collectively before. What was funny was their version of the story and the stuff you don’t remember or notice in the heat of the moment.
As I recognized that the moment signaled a turn in our healing, I could only thank God for knowing the perfect time and the perfect way to turn darkness into day.
David said in Psalms 18:30 “As for God His way is perfect.” I felt that this morning and still do right now. It says I can trust His plan over my wishes and wants. God’s perfectness says that He sees far beyond what I can with my natural eyes or even in the spirit. He knows how every circumstance can turn for my good if I allow God to be in control of my life.

Give More Love

The hardest times to give love is when you are truly feeling unloved, taken advantage of and rejected but those are exactly the times that God would love for us do so.
When Jesus was arrested and being accused of crimes rather than being on the defensive and fighting back He chose to give love. Peter coming to Jesus’ defense cut off the ear of a soldier. Jesus still found the time to heal the man’s ear in what was about to be the fight of His life.
Today you may find it impossible to even find love for yourself but trust me it is there. If you dig a bit deeper you will find love enough to share with even your enemies.
Maybe they are far away…so love them with your prayers. It is quite freeing to not allow other people’s issues to become your own or their attitudes. It is liberating to live above the storms of life and show love at every turn. Today, whenever possible give more love whether you believe they deserve it or not.

Back up a Bit

I won’t tell you how many tries it took to get my first driver’s license. Probably somewhere else on this blog that information is already written but no need to go over that. I do remember what got me every time was parking between the cones.

This after driving on major highways and everything the officer asked me to do. All I had to do was drive into the DMV and park between the cones. For the life of me, I would freeze and couldn’t accomplish the simple manuever I had never failed with my driving instructor. He was more baffled than I was that I kept hitting them as he knew I could do it.

But fear. Fear got me every time. I have always gone after what I wanted and I thrived more on the energy and passion needed to get that thing and when it was in reach, I would just freeze. Somehow I had convinced myself that I was not deserving of it and also I wasn’t ready to deal with the talk from family and just people in general when I reached my goal. It’s crazy I know but that alone would stop me and that fear has threatened me so many times in the past two years. I feel it faintly now but certainly not as before. This time its not so much what other people would say as my feelings of inadequacy that maybe I’ve been after something I am not qualified or capable of handling well.

I know it is not true. My God loves me too much than to give me things that will hurt me or that He is not able to help me through. The secret is to keep my eyes on Jesus and not on myself. So often these past two years, I feel as if I’ve been reliving experiences from my past as if life had given me a second chance to make a better decision. Did I have the courage to make the choice I didn’t make back then? I did…more than once. And the faster I made a better decision the more opportunities came to make big and better choices. It has been a time to dream again and to believe that I deserve my heart’s desires because my heart belongs to the One who died for me. He says I am good enough. He said I didn’t have to be anything more than willing to trust Him and believe. I do. I do. I do.

So now here, I am again on the brink of making one more decision. To go after a goal I passed up more than once even though it was my secret desire to have it. Do I have the courage to go for it and at what cost? I will soon find out.

Last One Picked

Gym class at BVI High was no fun. I was never athletic and didn’t care to be but for a 10-year-old girl who had no clue how she fit in with the world, you at least wanted to know that you were on the team.

Why teachers felt it necessary to have the best athletes lead each team and then do the picking, I will never know. Talk about a way to destroy young people’s self-esteem. You knew they would pick their friends first and the tallest or biggest depending on the sport. I was guaranteed to be the last one picked, because I was awkward looking,  or so I thought, clumsy and the shortest one around.

Waiting…

God promised He would be with us until the end of time.

He said He was not a man that He should lie.

As John P. Kee says “He will show up on time.”

You are checking your clock and looking at the setting of the sun.

But don’t despair. Your God has not forsaken you.

He has not forgotten His promise towards you.

In fact, He has been waiting a lifetime to see bring this promise to pass in your life

He will delay no longer.

He has arisen and is compassionate towards you, His Daughter Zion. 

Your appointed time has come.

So rejoice.

Under Pressure

As a child I never understood the purpose of a pressure cooker but now I do. It just seemed like another pot that Mom used to cook meat and peas and it had a rubber inside and that weight on the top that rattled all of the time. Try slow cooking some meat because you don’t own a pressure cooker and you understand the value of having this pot that can get your meat tender and ready to consume in a tenth of the time it takes without one. 

Over the years I have found that I work well under pressure. It is not to say I want to live my life in a pressure cooker but those times help me to see what I am made of. I admit there were many years when I resisted this pressure and acted out or closed myself in, never being able to function effectively. Now it is another season and time to manifest what is on the inside of me and how deep the Word of God goes.

The Ache

The ache in my chest is different. Not like it was before when it just hurt to so bad, when it felt as if it was broken and would always stay that way.
This ache is sweet, a longing, a sigh, a touch. It makes me tremble and I want to ache some more. I can’t even tell you how this feels because I know you won’t tell me the truth. I want to hear you say you are aching too. But still I don’t want you to.
Maybe if you confirmed or denied the ache would stop and I know I love feeling this way. I’m not ready for it to stop. Not ready to rationalize whether this makes sense or not. Whether it is wrong or right. 
I feel selfish right now. Don’t even want to share it with God. I know He knows all but I don’t want Him to tell me I have to give this up too. I know…I know He knows whats best for me but for one more moment, I want to hold on to this feeling. I haven’t felt it in forever and it feels good.

Thank You

For knowing how much I can bear.
For never leaving my side.
For loving me in the times I did not love myself
For sticking closer than any sister or brother or friend.
For showing me that with you I could do anything
For believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.
For knowing me better than I know myself.
For having faith in me when I felt faithless
For helping me to sleep in the middle of a storm-tossed sea
For making me shine with your glory when I had lost mine
For loving me when I felt unlovable
For singing to me when I had no voice
For giving me words that stand the test of time
For restoring to me the years that the locust devoured
For a new beginning that knows no end
For being a father to my fatherless children
For being the lover of my soul
For being the promise fulfilled
For helping me to see another birthday.

The Waiting Game

Sarah had a promise from God…she would bare a son. She would be the mother of many nations but she didn’t believe. She laughed at God and hence later had to name her son Isaac, which means “God has made me to laugh.”

God always has the last laugh but we can be laughing too if we only knew how to be patient and wait.